If You Didn’t Have A Loo

The loo is my favourite room in the house. And the one I use the most. I’m in and out all day long. The loo is my best friend you see. I sit on my little wooden seat, peruse my latest lovely Empire Magazine and while away the day.

If you didn’t have have a loo, what would you do? Find the nearest tree? I don’t need a kitchen. Buy takeaway and eat it in the loo. I don’t need a bedroom – I can sleep in the tub. I don’t need a living room. There are plugs in my loo. I can take my TVs, stick’em on the wall and watch’em from the tub. Or I could sit on the loo and watch 3 channels at the same time.

My cats like the loo. They keep me company. There’re plenty of mats in the loo. They prefer those to my thick shaggy rug in the living room. One plays in the tub – her name is Zara. She’s weird. Sometimes I go to the loo and forget the cat. Zara likes the nightlight – she sleeps next to it for hours. Until my next visit to the loo. Sometimes I hear her. Somewhere in the House. She’s bored by now. In the loo.


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